October 16, 2013

The last lap of the race

Dear M,

I am so very close to the end of one of my projects. There is about one week's effort remaining before it can fly solo (or crash headlong).

One would think I would ignore everything else and focus on this project, and send it to its destiny. But the truth is quite the opposite. I am trying to find excuses to not do that last bit of touch-up. I am still in the hang-over of the long weekend, I have a few priority tasks to catch upon, I should probably work on a few articles I have been postponing, I have to do this, I have to do that. Anything but this project, which is actually my topmost thought and priority. Sounds strange, doesn't it?

I don't know if that is the case with everyone. Do people plunge headlong into their books to ensure that they are finished as soon as possible? Or do they wait and waste time as I am doing, especially when the end is near??

I have been like this from the start. For each of the books I have been working on, when I am near the end of the first draft, I just want to stop working and give up. It takes all of my will power to tell myself that there are only a few thousand words to go before I reach the end of the first draft. Look at all the 50 or 60 thousand words I have written. If I give up now, all that effort will be wasted. I have come this far, this is the wrong place to stop. The end is near, I can see the chequered flag just at the corner, just keep going. Convincing myself to battle on is a struggle almost as much as writing the 50-60K words was.

I have put in a few years into this book. Writing, re-writing, editing, learning. It's been a great journey, and I am so very proud of the output. Whatever happens, as they say, there has been success in this journey. I hope it goes places. But even if it doesn't, it is a winner. I am a winner.


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