February 10, 2014

Ambitions, Aspirations and Goals

Dear M,

We should have the right ambition, you know. One can aspire to be a writer even with the wrong set of ambitions. Whether one makes it - whatever "makes it" could mean - is a different question altogether.

Some dream of going to a certain university for higher studies. It's the dream that makes them lose sleep. It's not the dream that came up yesterday for no reason. Because if it is, when the importance they give to that reason dies out, the dream would fade too. The dream has been consuming them for a long time, possibly years. The dream had been born in their hearts without their even noticing it. And during conversation, it had just slipped out. When everyone carried on the conversation, they are still stuck there, listening to those words that had fallen out of their mouth.
What did I just say?
I'd been dreaming of it all my life, I had said.
Had I?

If, on the other hand, the words that fell out were, yesterday I decided I wanted to be a writer. So I started my novel. I am close to the end. I should get it published next week. then I am not quite sure how far you will go. I am not quite sure how far that dream's gonna go. It could be a rebound from something else.

(Yes, I do like writing 'gonna' once in a while. No fun being prim and proper at all times, you know.)


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