September 1, 2013

Reading isn't the same once you become a writer!

Dear M,

Reading just isn't what it used to be.

I have always been a book-hungry person. Sometimes I think of all the books I want to read and wish that I could read them in one day so that I could feel somehow richer or fulfilled or satisfied. If there is something like a greed for reading, then I suffer from it. And yet there are so many authors, so many books I haven't laid my hands on. There are several others that I have started reading but couldn't finish for many reasons. However, the hunger remains as gnawing as ever.

It had been so much easier to read books before I began to call myself a writer. Those days, reading involved only that - reading. Enjoying the story, plot, characters, writing and - loving it or hating it (and being very loud about it). After I started taking writing seriously, and most importantly, after I began to read about writing, my perception began to change. Earlier, I would not give much importance to parts I did not like. But now, unconsciously I begin to analyse why I did not like it. My eyes stray over that piece for long, trying to find its faults. It should have been written this way, I would think. Well, I am entitled to my own opinions.

After the book is finished, I would think about characters, plots, how the author had brought them into existence. How the characters were developed, the pains she/he has gone through to show them to us. The subtle way in which important characters were introduced. How the various seemingly unimportant threads came together to break into the climax. And how unexpected, unpredictable the story had turned out to be. How original and wonderful the writing was. And how incompetent I am when compared to these amazing writers.

Reading has become more difficult and more inspiring, more painful and more motivating, since writing became an important part of my life. It is impossible to remain unaffected by good writers. Every book we read enriches us. But every good book also intimidates us. Every good piece of writing inspires us, but every good piece of writing also depresses us. Every story makes us want to write. Every story makes us want to conceal our writing from the world.

Life had been so much simpler when I did not have to worry about an author's skills, but life has become much more brighter when I began to analyse and learn from what I read.

Love.

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