August 18, 2013

God is in the Writing

Dear M,

We look for God everywhere. We expect Him or Her to turn up before us, raise a hand in blessing and say to us, "All your wishes will be granted, as of now." We expect things to change right before our eyes and whatever we have hoped for to be true right there, right then.

We miss out on two important things in this dream: the first is that, nothing of the sort will happen, and if it does, what do we do with the rest of our lives? We have got whatever we wanted. What next? Secondly, the success we seek is the journey. The success is in each of the steps we climb. We may recognise some, and we may not recognise some, but each learning is a success. Each milestone we have passed is a success.  Each failure is a success. There is no such thing as an Ultimate Success, after which there is nothing left for us to do. Be practical: such an end is not possible to a thinking, dreaming human. There are advantages and disadvantages in this vision: the advantage is that every day is a success. Every day gives us happiness. The disadvantage is that we never feel successful and we keep believing that real success is evading us, taking itself far away from us.

When we look at a person whom we call successful, what do we see? We see him content. We think, he does not want anything more in life. His life is complete. This could be the most untrue thing in life. An author who has published many successful books in his lifetime and is the best author in the world, is still struggling to complete his next masterpiece book. If he dies before he completes it, do you think he will consider his life successful? He will be dying in regret. No one is successful if they don't see success in the little things they achieve every day.

I think God is in everything we do. If we do it right, the results would come. It may come in any form, not particularly in the form we want it to be. But one thing leads to another, and eventually we would get some of the things we want. When I write the way I want to, I find contentment in a strange way that glows from within. My day feels more pleasant, and I am able to give peace to my surroundings. If the struggle is greater, the contentment is sweeter. God does not appear to me in any form or give me any gifts. But the opportunities that appear because I am focussed towards them, because I am looking for them, because I am working hard to find them, that is the God I see. Spiritual? I don't mind if you say so. This is my faith. This gives me the strength when my days are long and dreary. This helps me gather myself and hold myself together when all I want to do is give up.

Whatever gives you that kind of strength, is your God.

My today's success is completing this letter. I am happy, I am content. I could go and pamper myself a bit, watch TV and sleep and chatter with friends. But if I die today, I will die unhappy about the four novels that are in draft, the one that is completed that has not yet found a publisher, my poems written and unwritten, my short stories that are yet to be published, my letters to you that are still in my heart, unformed.

We will never find success the way we see it. But if we are ready to see success in the little things - the size of homeopathic sugar pills - that come to us each day and each week, then we can call ourselves very, very successful.


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