Freewheeling

Dear M,

Sometimes it is such a relief to write what comes to mind, without bothering about the order or sequence or chronology or depth of characters. Throwing preparations to the wind. I don't know if it is a good idea or if it is anything at all; but I don't mind.

Maybe the reader will be disappointed, maybe the reader will think it has no convincing plot, no amazing characters, no colourful premise. But who cares? - the author doesn't, because the author is enjoying the writing of it, and when the author does that, nothing else matters.

That's the kind of book I am working on now. Just jotting in scenes here and there, with appropriate titles and nothing else. No worry about whether this happens before that or that happens before something else.

There is no strain in writing, no stretching of memory, no papers flying around the room with important notes on them. No planning, no discipline, no setting aside fixed time daily. No pressure.

Just writing when it strikes. Sometimes two days a week, sometimes every day with hours stolen from work. Sometimes just one line in a day. 20K in one month. Not an amazing pace, but enough, for me.

And definitely not the kind of thing an author with credentials would approve of. I can see you there, over yonder, shaking your head at me. It's bound to fail, you think.

Who cares, my dear friend, who cares. Not I. Not today.

Love.

Like this post on Facebook!

There's no glory in the struggle

Dear M,

New authors are so enthusiastic! Just like young men off to battle (so I have heard). They think it is exciting - the struggle of a writer. They think their bravery, valiance, determination, skill and strength will be put to test. They think they are soldiers in uniform marching in the World War 1. They think they are fighter pilots bombing Nazi Germany in the World War 2. They think they're preparing themselves for the World War 3. They think of the glory, the awards, the recognition, once the War is over.

What they do not know is that there is no such thing (even in a real war). In the writing world, the fight is against one's self. The enemy is boredom. The only thing that will be put to test is your persistence. Your skill, talent, or capacity does not matter, if you give up trying because you are bored and you decided that you have had enough.

The days of writing are long and dreary. Nothing happens. You just force yourself to sit at your desk and write word after word after word. That's your world war. Then, one day, you finish. But then you need to edit it. You go over it again and again and again - as though you are trudging through a desert with only a bottle of water for company. That may eventually give out too. And then you approach an editor, and then you rest for a while. The Oasis, from where you need to set off again. By then you are not the same person who had started the journey... let me see, four-five years ago.

You laugh at yourself and all your old, proud talks of being a "struggling" writer. There is no glory in the struggle. I have had enough, dammit, you say, throw the manuscript, half-edited and half-fixed and all, to a publisher's door and walk away, hoping that you will hear a voice calling you from behind.

Nothing happens. This is not a tragic fiction I just made up. This is the truth. This is the struggle. The waiting. The disillusionment. The pessimism. Then amidst them all, still picking up where you left it yesterday and continuing the struggle, disillusioned, pessimistic, disappointed and exhausted.

Love.

Like this post on Facebook!

Validation

Dear M,

Being unpublished - in the traditional sense of being published - is a difficult situation to be in, in your efforts to convince yourself that you are a writer. If you are serious about writing, that is. You'd rather hide that side of yours than have to answer unwanted questions. You do not need that validation from anyone, you try to convince yourself. I know what I am, and what I am not.

But it doesn't always work that way. So you try to prove - to yourself and to others - that yes, you are a Writer, worthy of being called a Writer, you are the one to whom people turn to when they need Writing advice, you are the experienced one, you are the one who knows about Writing.

You try to prove it by actually Writing something that people can see. In places where they can bump into your writing. From where they can come to you with wide, surprised, bordering-on-impressed eyes and say, Oh yes, I read that article of yours. Yes, it was great.

Squeezing that out of some people is tough. But if you manage that, even if it was a passing sentence intended not to catch your ears, it's success in itself.

Love.

Like this post on Facebook!

Writing as though Speaking

Dear M,

Some authors write as though they are speaking to us, even when the narrative is in third person. As though they are sitting right across the table from us, and telling us what had happened. It seems so effortless, however we know it isn't. There is an appropriate mix of stream of consciousness and the global third person view. It feels as though we aren't reading, we are listening.

I think that is a more modernistic style of writing; by modern I mean early-ish twentieth century. Probably. I am not all that interested in studying when this evolved or when that was founded. (Perhaps I should, though.)

I am interested in understanding how they wrote those, how they conceived the idea, how they prepared their notes which eventually formed this shape that I now hold in my hands.

I read somewhere about one exercise that some writers have done early in their youth. They copy down the writing of their favourite authors, a few lines each day. Writing, as we know, is the best way to memorise anything. And by memorise we don't mean we are going to plagiarise their work. It is a way to decipher their writing, to understand what they have done. And to improvise on anything, the first thing to do is get the basics right. Know the rules, then break them.

Love.

Like this post on Facebook!

The Novel's Own Time and Place

Dear M,

I hate to admit it, but today when a load of work came in, I was so relieved that I did not have to work on the novel. Don't mistake me: I love my novel and all I want is to polish it to perfection. There are only a few more things to be done on it. But one does get miserably bored of reading it a million times. There is no novelty, first of all. You know what's going to happen. You have no shock, no surprise, no emotion whatsoever. All that was spent in the first writing and the second reading.

I can't wait for the day when I can be rid of that novel once and for all. It is keeping me from my next masterpiece, and it is not becoming "complete" either. I want to see it published, of course; if ever that cycle begins, I will be happy to be working on it again, but as long as there is no promise involved, I just want to toss it to one side.

If it has a future, I suppose it will find it. A novel has its "time and place" too.

Love.

Like this post on Facebook!

Research into the number of rejections

Dear M,

A major activity in a writer's life involves reading up on how famous authors were rejected a million times, how they suffered for a hundred years, how they struggled to get their work noticed, and when that happened, how they shot to fame.

The next activity in the aspiring author's life is to sit and wonder how long he has to go before he gets somewhere. How many rejections has he received so far, and how many more to go before he hits that threshold? How many years has he to struggle before someone notices him? He calculates the average number of rejections faced by the famous novelists, average number of years they struggled, and then he compares with his own numbers.

That's how far he needs to go to reach the bottom of the staircase, from where he can at least start climbing. So far whatever he has been doing is wandering left and right, and in all possible directions, seeking to find that magical, vanishing staircase.

Love.

Like this post on Facebook!

Of Luck and Meeting the Right People

Dear M,

Frankly, I wonder how authors like Hemingway or Virginia Woolf or even Rushdie got away with their writing. Their writings must have fallen to several hands and must have been rejected, over and over. I don't see how else it can be.

I wasn't impressed by any of these authors when I started reading them. (They're lucky I wasn't their agent.) The first page of Midnight's Children surprised me - is this how the world famous book begins? I had to struggle past a few pages (which I did only because the author was well-known and respected) to become truly hooked to it. Same with Hemingway. I became his fan only after reading The Old Man and The Sea. That was something I could put my money on. But that was one of the books he wrote after he became The Hemingway. That was the book that led him to the Nobel.

And Virginia Woolf? Just picture myself taking the first few pages of her book (Mrs Dalloway, for instance) and approaching a publisher, claiming to be the author. Assume also that the publisher has never read Woolf. I am sure she would throw the MS to the trash. This is not a story, she would tell me. This is like a blog where you can write disjointed stuff and make no sense whatsoever. I am looking for a story that has a plot and does not wander all over the place like this does. Give me something that people would read.

The way I see it, someone was impressed enough to give them a chance. They were lucky to get noticed. They had met the right person at the right time. Or maybe they started out writing stories with traditional style plots and sequence, and then once they were accepted, they were able to experiment with their styles.

Which once again proves that we cannot afford to give up. If we have to get somewhere, we've got to keep walking.

Love.

Like this post on Facebook!

With time, comes confidence

Dear M,

Today I updated my bio again, to go with an article I was sending. And today, I found that it was so much easier to write one, perhaps because I have been doing it for so many years.

Writing a bio is not easy at the start. And writing a bio is essential, be it at the start or the end. (I don't know about the end, though.)

When we attempt it for the first time, it is easy to overdo it. Every little bit of information need not go into the bio. It is like a compressed resumé, but containing only the things that the reader needs to - or would be interested to - know. Your previous publications, your prior writing experience, your association with famous writing clubs, your writing awards, your hugely popular blog.

Sounds simple, but somehow the first time we write our bio, it appears so difficult. It never does come out well in the first attempt. Keep improvising and keep modifying, and most importantly, keep reading others' bios to see how they have done it in a simple yet striking manner.

Love.

P.S. And that's my 200th letter on this blog.

Like this post on Facebook!

Busy is as busy does

Dear M,

I think I have never been so busy in my life. Or maybe, it just appears so every time it happens. The way I remember it, I have had busy flashes that passed quickly, then there were some busy days during which I did only one thing the whole day. Perhaps the fact that I am trying to do several things at once is taking its toll.

And inevitably, the writing - the only task in my list that is done for purposes of my own, the only task that gives no pleasure to anyone else, the only task that does not actually swell my bank account - becomes the one that suffers.

That's how it is - every task and every person has to shove through and make themselves visible if they need to be noticed. My writing has to impress me, has to be "useful", and it has to make a "difference" to my life if it should be given due respect.

I hear pretty much the same story from everywhere around me, so I guess it has something to do either with March, or with the climate in general, or with the collective energy of the planet. Somewhere, someone else must be compensating for it by taking long breaks and following his passion full steam.

Next month, I hope I am one of them.

Love.

Like this post on Facebook!

The Struggle, the Noise, the Hardships

Dear M,

An author recently claimed that she was inspired by silence, that her ideas came when she was alone and in very quiet atmosphere, like her own room. Lucky, I said to myself.

Not all writers are so lucky. Some have to write in the middle of squealing children, even while screaming at them, or in the midst or chores, or even sneakily at work.

Some of us do not have the luxury of getting creative in loneliness. Some of us get creative despite all the noise around us, despite not having a minute to ourselves, despite wanting to throw all the unpleasant things in life away.

The efforts to focus become all the more trying, like sunlight trying to peep through a tiny hole. Perhaps, and this is positive thinking I suppose, because of all the hardships, our efforts become more beautiful.

Love.

Like this post on Facebook!

The Right Choice

Dear M,

There was this "big, fat" ad in the newspaper today - in large font, caps, on the front page, no less. It said, "Fortune favours those who make the right choices." And I wondered what the right choices are. How would one know he is making the right choices?

I don't know if I am. I don't know if I ever have.

I seem to have been running from pillar to post, as they say. For each of the pathways that I took, there were many, many others that I ignored. There were some others that I tried to follow but abandoned after a while. I do not know which of my actions were right and which were the mistakes. I do not know if I had pursued something else, would I have wound up somewhere else? Did some other trail lead to a miracle? Do I want a miracle?

But there is one thing I know for sure - being a writer was a right choice. There was a definite turn in the road. There was a crossroads. There was a choice. And I had taken it, fully conscious of what I was doing.

Wherever I am now, whatever I am or not, whether people would term my life meaningful or not, successful or not, I know for a certainty that being a writer was a right choice.

I have never, even for a moment, felt that this was not for me. I have been saddened when I did not get what I wanted, I have been miserable when my attempts failed, I have been mad with rage when I was rejected multiple times, but not for one moment did I regret this choice. I am on the right track. I do not know where I am going, what I will find. But this journey, this struggle, this madness, this despair, this momentary satisfaction of writing something I believe in, that is my life, that is my success, that is... my destination. I am not going anywhere. I am there.

Love.

Like this post on Facebook!

Brilliant at jobs, not so at Writing?

Dear M,

Many of us have jobs outside of writing, and are very good at it too. We've been appreciated, and we know we are as close to perfection as humanly possible. We're dedicated, hard-working, talented, good learners, and, if I may say so, indispensable. If we put in our papers, our colleagues are going to be devastated.

So why is it that, we are so brilliant at our jobs, but we aren't so at our creative pursuits? Why aren't we the winners, the way we are at office? Why aren't publishers or agents racing after us, the way our Bosses do?

Because job, most of the time, is different from creativity. This is a general statement. Many people do creative work that is as demanding as writing itself. But many others do work that has a definition, a certain expectation, some sets of rules to follow. There is, in most cases, an expected outcome.

When we write a story, or a novel, we're not working on any definition. As the author, we know what we're going to write about. But we do not have a sample or template to refer, we cannot get our work reviewed by others (except for editing suggestions), we do not have input specifications, we do not have a list of expected output.

Which is why it isn't easy. Which is why, one person may say it is great, while the other would find it boring. Which is why, our writing style may appeal to some while it would put off some others.

We have to tackle and master the craft, just as we did with our jobs. And if we are determined, we could be as good.

Love.

Like this post on Facebook!

Write for... whom?

Dear M,

Again, the same advice in another of those sites. They all say it so it must be true. (Probably explains the reason for my track record too.)

Write for the audience. Seriously? How can I write for the audience? I always write for myself. (Shut up.)

I don't agree, but that's what they all say. There must be something to it. See what the market wants, they say. Give it to them.

That's what some people do, and it works. Some people don't, and that works too. So what works? Wait a minute. There it is - right before me. Write what you think is best. If you believe in writing for others, that's what you do. If you want to write for yourself, that's what you do. Who knows, anyway?

Love.

Like this post on Facebook!

Non-stop pelting

Dear M,

One of the scenes I like in the movie The Shawshank Redemption is the one in which Andy writes to the authorities every week, week after week, to start a library in the prison. Finally, years later, fed up of his persistence, they agree and send him some books for the library. And when that happens, Andy says, now I will write to them twice a week.

I remember it whenever I feel that I want to give up. There is no end to the number of times you can pelt the window until someone comes out to scream at you.

Because they eventually will. Or have to. But if we don't pelt, there is no question of anyone coming out to see you, normally. The abnormal stories of getting noticed by chance may happen to some, not all.

So, keep pelting, get screamed at.

Love.

Like this post on Facebook!

Happy are those Unhappy Beings

Dear M,

Happy are those artists who are unhappy in life, for they have something worth writing about.

Misery is the life-juice of writers. I don't think anything worth much would have been written on happy, carefree days. However on miserable, hopeless days what comes forth is genius.

So if you have unhappiness piled up all around you, rejoice; pick up your pen, and let it all out.

Love.

Like this post on Facebook!

Prioritise, prioritise

Dear M,

Once again I am faced with the problem of not knowing what project to focus on. I have written about this before, here.

One novel that needs to be polished is begging for attention; meanwhile this shortstory squeezed through to the forefront, and now I am spending my writing time blissfully gazing at both and not finishing the story nor the novel. And while I am gaping at them, my editor might get back with the finished novel she is looking at, which means I may have to work on that soon.

Why can't I just choose one and finish that?

It isn't that simple, really, is it? In theory, it is. In reality, it is so very human of me to not want to work - gazing at work and complaining is much easier.

I think I better finish that short story first. Those things tend to lose their energy faster than the novels. Besides, they are smaller. When they are done, they are done.

Love.

Like this post on Facebook!

Nothing Short of Perfect

Dear M,

Most of us dream of the day when we can stop working for others and be our own masters. For writers who take writing seriously enough, it more or less means becoming a full-time writer. Every time our boss seems disappointed with us, we wish we could put in our papers, wave farewell and sit at home, writing.

We dream of people asking us, What are you working on now?
Oh I am working on my dream project, something that has been on my mind for a very long time... I have been researching on this for one-hundred-and-twenty-seven years...

Then we write knowledgeable articles on how a writer can develop discipline: I think discipline is necessary for a writer. Take me, for instance. I get up at five and write for two hours, then I read the newspaper and attend to the house and my family, from nine I again write non-stop for four hours. In the afternoon I take a nap, I read for two and a half hours, and take an evening walk. The fresh air inspires me to write new twists in my story. Then I spend an hour attending to fan emails. After dinner I write again for one hour, watch TV with the family and go to bed...

That felt good, didn't it?

In the meantime, we are still pushing against the odds, looking up heavenward and seeing the dream amidst the clouds, mocking us...

Getting published is like having your appraisal (yeah, I might have said this before, I can't get that feeling out of my mind!). It is not enough that you perform well in the organization, it is also important that others don't perform as well as you - it is a silly, comparative grading system. It is not enough that you write great stuff, it is also important that none of the other new authors write anything significant, so that the publisher throws everything out and looks at your MS alone.

So our MS has to be nothing short of perfect. Our boss isn't going to think, oh s/he has put in so much effort into this, let me be kind. He is going to mercilessly sift through our work, find flaws and grade you against the better performers (and send you polite and apologetic rejection slips).

Love.

Like this post on Facebook!

Writer's Block is only an excuse not to write

Dear M,

Writer's Block is another way of saying it is not my priority. I know we get stuck at times, in the middle of our story, or we find that we have run out of ideas for a new story. It's only a temporary glitch. We just step over it and continue, and come back to it when the time is ripe.

But most often, most writers complain of writer's block when they want to do something other than sit and write. A writer is always writing - either on paper or in his mind. If he isn't, then he is not completely a writer. If he is not writing in his mind when he is doing something else, he will not have anything at his fingertips when he sits down and voilà! - writer's block.

We don't sit down and think about what we want to write. It doesn't work that way. The writing is always there, the thoughts and words are always ready and turning and churning in the mind. We have to sometimes grab any piece of paper that we can find to note it down, lest the beautiful thing be lost. Eventually, what we get down to paper is only a small part of what was boiling in the labyrinths of our mind. When we sit down, we are only opening the gates for the flood to gush out, frothing and screaming. That's how writers are made, and not by opening the gates and wonder if there is a flood rising somewhere nearby.

We are not writers because we sit down once in a while and think, Okay, what am I going to write today?
We are writers because we run to the chair and jot down what has been formed in our mind hours ago. We are writers because we constantly ask ourselves, I have this wonderful story I want to write, when in the world can I shove my a$$ into a chair?
And when we have that urge that kills us, we find ourselves a chair.

Love.

Like this post on Facebook!

Ambitions, Aspirations and Goals

Dear M,

We should have the right ambition, you know. One can aspire to be a writer even with the wrong set of ambitions. Whether one makes it - whatever "makes it" could mean - is a different question altogether.

Some dream of going to a certain university for higher studies. It's the dream that makes them lose sleep. It's not the dream that came up yesterday for no reason. Because if it is, when the importance they give to that reason dies out, the dream would fade too. The dream has been consuming them for a long time, possibly years. The dream had been born in their hearts without their even noticing it. And during conversation, it had just slipped out. When everyone carried on the conversation, they are still stuck there, listening to those words that had fallen out of their mouth.
What did I just say?
I'd been dreaming of it all my life, I had said.
Had I?

If, on the other hand, the words that fell out were, yesterday I decided I wanted to be a writer. So I started my novel. I am close to the end. I should get it published next week. then I am not quite sure how far you will go. I am not quite sure how far that dream's gonna go. It could be a rebound from something else.

(Yes, I do like writing 'gonna' once in a while. No fun being prim and proper at all times, you know.)

Love.

Like this post on Facebook!

There is Only One Writing Advice

Dear M,

You may read books, articles and blogs on writing, and spend hours and years trying to fathom other authors' writing styles. Actually there is so much you can do to understand writing. You can get into discussions, listen, contribute, argue, debate, learn. There is no end to the homework you can do on writing. (As in everything else, of course.)

But it all boils down to one thing, really.
Don't stop writing, even for a day.

If you do, you stop being a writer. And if you are not a writer, then nothing else you learn makes sense.
Show, not tell.
Metaphor, simile, oxymoron,...
Hemingway, Proust, Kafka, Neruda...
Writers must read everything they can get their hands on.
Write about what you believe in; write about what you know; write about what interests you,...
Write like this, don't write like that...

If you aren't writing, what should any of this matter? And if you do not have experience of your own, you cannot even preach to others.
Write. All rules come afterwards.

Love.

Like this post on Facebook!